We often say of people we see as very self-important that they have “a big ego”. The very use of the term suggests a belief that such people are larger than life, if not false or pretentious. Our popular culture is full of this. Yet their polar opposite could be just as important, an ego of one who appears over-humble, seemingly self-depreciating, over-deferential. Neither is authentic, and thus the term “ego” suggests a false self. Yet there’s a lot more to the term than just the matter of inauthenticity, important though that is, as we’re dealing with a whole range of human characteristics. So what is meant by “ego” in this sense?

The term “ego“, which is the Latin for “I”, is used in a variety of senses, according to the particular tradition that uses it. So in a Western sense … Read More »

Do you find yourself berating yourself for being repeatedly “caught up” in your dramas and patterns? In fact could you think of an occasion today when you’ve been doing just this?

When people pause to think about how their everyday life is going, there’s often some prevailing pattern at work. In fact it can be so prevailing that we might struggle to remember when we last felt “good” and “OK”. It can seem a distant memory.

Welcome to the ego, doing its thing.

Imagine for a moment that you (or I) have been having quite a pressured day and there’s been lots happening. In fact your life seems to be a bit like that. Then your son or daughter calls (or brother or sister, parent, etc) and wants to come round and see you about something. You flip into irritation (suppressed rage really), … Read More »

It’s a useful question to ask, and many of us hit occasions when we do just that – on the last day of your life, what do you regret?

A palliative care nurse recently compiled a list of the top 5 things the dying stated they regretted. These might not surprise you:

1.    I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2.    I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
3.    I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4.    I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5.    I wish that I had let myself be happier

You could check how much this list fits with your everyday concerns, and whether key ones in this list are not actually attended to by you on a day to day basis. In other … Read More »