Learning to love simply and purely for its own sake

18 February 2012 By Leave a Comment

Teachers and gurus of many traditions all urge us to apply love in our daily lives. Without it we are, as St Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal“. It’s a brilliantly simple way to experience more love in our lives. Muktananda wrote, “In your ordinary life, learn to love. This love should be pure, unattached and given for its own sake. If it contains any demands, it is just a commercial exchange – the motions of love but not love itself.”

If the pursuit of the awareness of love is taken further, if for example we practice such awareness in ways consistent with our own chosen spiritual practice, then this love deepens. It becomes a pursuit in its own right. Gurumayi wrote: “Without the experience of inner love, without embracing God’s love, without the darshan of one’s own true nature, without the awareness of So’ham, “I am That“, a human being is like an empty container.”

So when we are aware of something missing inside us, and we do our own journeying and find that we need to cultivate more love in our lives in this unattached way, without neediness, dependency on another, expectation or the other manifestations of the ego around love, then we are moving towards cultivating something wholely precious, beautiful, utterly fulfilling. For when the ego really and truly gets out of the way, That is all there Is.

This weekend, perhaps you could spend some time meditating on your heart centre, in the awareness that there dwells love. Whether you feel it or not doesn’t matter. It is the intention and the practice that matters. It maybe that lots of stuff needs to be got out of the way first. But if one sets out with the intention to create more authentic, genuine love in one’s life, we steadily draw it to us. Consistency is needed, along with a willingness to face what comes up along the way. But the results are a treasure indeed.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , ,

Thank you Whitney for your service to us

12 February 2012 By Leave a Comment

Like very many others I was very saddened to read that Whitney Houston died today, and that we’ve lost a major singing talent, albeit not as she once was. She died in her 49th year, which can be a turning point for many, and I’ve often noticed how people leave at that time. She was important for me not just for her excellent singing and all those songs I used play in my car on the long journeys I once did. She also helped unwittingly to contribute to the emergence of a new phase in my life.

For me she most represented a phase of re-awakening during which I used to play over and over again her rendering of The Greatest Love of All. One thing that had stood out for me from all the personal development work I was doing at the time was the need to learn to love myself. At the time that was a concept for which I heard the words but didn’t get it. How did you love yourself and what was that like? Like many others, I had grown up with a very negative view of myself, which I tried hard to conceal from the world, and had finally confronted and embarked on a journey to know the real me. Part of that involved loving the self I was discovering.

Of course Whitney wasn’t the only contribution to that process, but I recall playing the track over and over and noticing how I reacted inside when I heard the words “I found the greatest love of all inside of me…Learning to love yourself, it  is the greatest love of all“. And the song ends with her singing that if you find yourself in a lonely place, “find your strength in love.” I can’t repeat often enough how important I believe those words are.

One might think that those sentiments don’t seem to accord with her own life, but, hey, we’re human and we screw up. Sometimes our shadow jumps out to bite us. It’s to be compassionate and also to see beyond whatever challenges a person might be going through to what they teach us, and for me this teaching of her’s stands out.

Whatever we need to learn, we will find a way to hear it, and it may come from a song, and then it might come from some words in a book, and then some chance words you overhear as you pass by some others, and then the headlines on the news, and some inner voice speaking to you. It’ll be coming to us when we’re ready for it. The point is to be open to listen and to receive the wisdoms so freely given and to notice the resonance with our own process.

Whitney played her part in that and I thank her for that, and for her service to so very many people. God bless her.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , , ,

Being present in the silence

4 February 2012 By

As it’s snowing at present here and in much of Europe, people may find their activities restricted. Apart from those perhaps stuck somewhere and having difficulty, and we should keep them in our thoughts during this freeze-up, for those  of us perhaps stuck in-doors we might feel frustrated by the limitation, and then we could reflect on what it might have to teach us.

Enforced idleness, lets say, in a society accustomed to feeling driven and busy, can be a strange one. We might look round for “something to do”. Our minds could “go off on one”. And then we could just be still.

And listen to the quiet.

The snow might have dulled sound. It might seem still.

So, you could be present with the stillness, aware of it, being the observer of it. Just being still.

Just now I found this statement by Eckhart Tolle: “The human condition: lost in thought“.

We get so caught up in thinking and go off all over the place. Absorbed in ego. So here’s a good time to be still, and let the mind just quieten down and be still. They say, a watched mind becomes still. So, watch it.

As you become aware of the stillness, go into it. Be right there in it. Feel it. Let it touch your heart. Breathe it in to your heart centre. And be very aware and present.

It’s very simple really. We just get lost in thought.

Enjoy!

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , , , ,

On being purely aware of breathing

3 February 2012 By

I went to a wonderful evening about Rumi in Bath last Thursday, at an event led by people of the Sufi Way. Peter Hawkins led a fascinating session on Rumi’s life and the mystical poetry that he wrote, interspersed with readings by Kunderke Kevlin.

Rumi is frequently quoted not only by his followers and other Sufis but also very many others interested in the mystical approach both in the East and in the West. One particular poem stood out for me, Only Breath. Such a powerful reminder of that which is formless and unattached.

For me it was a great session on the inspiration of Rumi’s encounter with Unity and how his life moved into a different dimension in consequence. Listening to the story and to the sequence of poems, a calm gradually descended over me and so too did a smile. Then came the poem, Only Breath. And it felt complete.

When the meditator sits focused on the breath, and gradually thought recedes into the background or disappears entirely, the simple awareness of breath can seem like all there is. The breath comes in and the breath goes out. Utterly simple. It comes into the chest region and is often best felt in the heart centre, where at the end of the in-breath it merges with the energy of the heart centre and with the Love that is its essence. It goes out and merges with the air outside. The air is everywhere, all one and omni-present, all That. When breathed in, it connects with the whole on the inside too. It’s a powerful way to feel totally connected, unity consciousness in practice.

Practice it.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , ,

When gentleness of spirit opens doors that are firmly closed to you

29 January 2012 By

Earlier I looked out of the window across the field at the back of our house and saw three deer silently grazing in the evening gloom. They nibbled steadily and ever now and again looked up and around. They would pause and gaze all around and seemingly right at me, although I was probably obscured by the glass of my room’s window. They would stand quite still, as if sensing the air. Then they would go back to their eating. A silent presence.

They come a lot to this field, a large meadow also given to cattle and to pheasants. But deer are always such a pleasure to see. In Native American medicine they are often seen as representing gentleness, which seems totally appropriate.

We can get so heavily engaged in effort, striving and seeking to “make” things happen. So, on a Sunday afternoon, seeing the deer seems a useful reminder of the power of gentleness in facilitating outcomes. So often, when effort seems to be getting nowhere, it pays more to let go, and allow things to be. Then somehow things happen, but we need to be unattached to the outcome. It’s like our egos have to get out of the way.

To quote from my Medicine Cards, “You are being asked to find the gentleness of spirit that heals all wounds. Stop pushing so hard to get others to change, and love them as they are. Apply gentleness to your present situation and become like the summer breeze: warm and caring.”

So I pass this on to whoever this might be relevant right now. Let go and love.

It’s a reminder that we all need, a lot. The power of love.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , ,

All possibilities co-exist in the present moment

27 January 2012 By

The hard bit, often the really hard bit, is to see the new beginnings, the new way forward, in the midst of what’s going on.

Yet, as they say, in the “quantum soup of pure potentiality” (see Deepak Chopra et al), all options, all possibilities co-exist in the present moment. We’re so used to linearity, to cause and effect, and that things follow a sequence, especially a logical one, that we find this one hard to get. The ego mind fights the idea of being open to what is, to being unattached to a specific way and to the idea of allowing.

I was asked not long ago if I might run a coaching program for some psychologists and one was puzzled by my approach which seemed to her to lack a scientific rationale. “Can you measure it?” she asked. It can be hard for those educated in the Newtonian scientific paradigm to get that there’s another way of perceiving these phenomena. Not that they are necessarily any more right or wrong, just another way. The struggle for so many in our society can be to accept that there might be several ways, all of them “right”, right that is for the chooser.

So, the “new beginning” can be many and varied, all existing in the present moment. It depends on your perception, and you can change your perception. I have so often seen people shift some of their inner baggage and a whole new way has then opened up for them, one they hadn’t necessarily anticipated before. Let’s say that Person A had been used to the idea that if he wanted people to do something he believed he had to control and dominate them in order to “make” it happen, not an attitude that would endear him to others who would probably resist, overtly or covertly. Then, in doing some work on himself in a seminar he discovered that he tried to control others because he was really afraid they would reject him and the control enabled him to avoid having to face that possibility. Then, once he allowed himself to explore that and to start to like himself and not need that from others, he was able to approach others from a perspective of love and acceptance, which empowered others to respond differently to him. What he learned was that love opened all sorts of doors for him, including the treasure of his own heart.

He didn’t know that at the beginning, or at least not in awareness, although perhaps his soul did and was inviting him to come home to himself. The new beginning was there all along, perhaps, and he just needed to open up to it.

 

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self

Allow yourself to meditate on love

15 January 2012 By

Reading the news today, and the usual catalogue of disagreements, upsets and conflicts as presented by our media, I was reminded of an excellent book by James Twyman, Emissary of Light, which describes the author’s visit during the Bosnian conflict to a group of people who devoted years during the conflict to meditating together right in the midst of the conflict in the cause of peace.

Every day, this group would meditate for most of the day and they would send out light to the world. James describes how on one occasion, a large group of soldiers were advancing and came right up to where they were and then passed them by without seeing them. They had made themselves as if invisible.

A lot of their work was about transcending fear, since conflict originated from fear. He describes how at one point he was instructed by the leader, referred to as “Teacher”, of the principle that “as you release fear through surrender and trust, incredible waves of light will wash over you. You’ll begin to feel joy and peace greater than you even knew existed,” and “You in your essence are the fountain of unconditional love…let it flow from you and wash over all those you see.”

This reminded me too of the passage in A Course in Miracles about love and fear. “God“, it says, “is not the author of fear. You are.” It goes on to say that “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” It is love that is real. All else is an illusion. “The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.”

When we get caught in our stuff, or we read about others doing the same, whether on an individual, group, or national basis, this is always worth remembering. “All there is, is love.” It is so easy to forget, such is the power of ego. We can forget these words in minutes, which is the testimony to our disconnection, and thus replicate the same dilemma.

Thus, spending time meditating on love is a powerful practice, not just for ourselves but for everybody. Unconditionally.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , , ,

May everyone see only auspicious sights

13 January 2012 By

The idea of managing and controlling our desires and actions has become quite an alien one. We have become accustomed to the view that such a way leads to repression. Rather we think of allowing the “free spirit” to have free rein and to express itself. So, which is it?

I’ve been looking through a book by Swami Chidvilasananda, “The Yoga of Discipline“, which is really a series of talks, and she has a lot to say about the value for a yogi of discipline. She says (of seeing), “In the Upanishads it is said, “May everyone see only auspicious sights.” The eyes are very important; perception is very significant. The world is as you see it. Therefore how you maintain your outlook, what you see, is essential.” She goes on to say that you should teach your eyes what to see and when to see.

Like Western phenomenological psychology, yogic thinking focuses on the importance of the awareness of perception, the world is what we think it is. Therefore, they say, think what uplifts you.

To the yogi, desires need to be controlled. Otherwise we can buffeted here and there and be unable to focus our awareness on our spiritual practice. To the yogi, attention is directed inwards, to the inner Self, and meditation and other practices are designed to support that. The yogi therefore needs discipline.

It can all sound very monastic, although by no means an alien one to western traditions, until we reflect on how the mind operates, how easily we get caught up in our patterns and habits of thinking, feeling and behaving. The mind is very maleable. It is a question of effort and practice. This is about using awareness to see where our minds are going, to catch the mind when it wanders off on some old, habitual, unproductive path, and bring it back to point of focus. This point of focus might be centring the mind in present-moment awareness, or focusing on the breath, or being aware of your Beingness, or one of the many ways that any practioner from any tradition or none might find to feel positive, uplifted, calm and at peace. The point is the consciously and deliberately manage the mind.

As I said, very unfashionable, but productive of a calm, aware and centred state from which far more productive and fulfilling action can take place.

You have to be spiritually-oriented to get the value of this. Being focused on inner calm and centredness can benefit people from whatever persuasion or none, as the current trend for mindfulness training shows.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , , ,

Becoming aware that materialism isn’t enough

6 January 2012 By

In making intentions for 2012, did you include anything about your spiritual self? It’s perhaps curious that vast swathes of our society are still heavily engaged in the pursuit of the material, even as the evidence of its dysfunctionality mounts. You might think, well it’s not surprising given our need for survival. And this is exactly the point. While we live in survival mode, we’re heavily engaged in ego. Yet our evolution is arguably taking us to a point where we need to awaken to who we really are. As the point gets closer, the contradiction increases in severity and hence we feel the pressure.

One way I often notice this contradiction is where people say they want contentment, peace, and well-being and yet complain about their highly pressurised lifestyles. Why therefore do we continue to put up with it? Isn’t it time it changed? “Oh, but I can’t help it,” people say, as if they are caught up in it. One might also suggest they don’t want to, yet.

Well, we could sell up and go and live in some wilderness or mountain-top, but it is possible we’ll take the same issues that are blocking us with us. “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water,” goes the Zen saying. We will still need to support ourselves.

There’s something closer to home to address, which needn’t necessarily mean undertaking a revolution in lifestyle. That is to look at the egoic drivers that sustain our drivenness. This is not about changing the external situation, and we might still do that. It is to look within and explore and understand, so as to manage differently, the inner processes that keep us stuck.

We could, for example, look at what fears we hang on to, what beliefs about ourselves and about life, what attachments we have to keeping our dysfunctionality in place. The sad thing recently has been how few people have been allowing themselves to go there. Yet the contradiction is getting worse and human suffering is going through another phase of materialistic self-flagellation with the economic crisis, and at some point vastly more people will stand up and say that our current ways of life are not serving us.

That’s when it’s going to get very interesting. How about 2012 being the year when we will be playing a big part in that?

Our The Power of Awareness program is partly about helping people raise their awareness of their life style and what they most want – and about how to get there.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

Holding to your faith in meeting adversity or challenge

3 January 2012 By

Keeping faith. That can be a hard one. Let’s say you’ve embarked on some major change in your life, whether deliberately or involuntarily, and you are perhaps carrying out some plans, or you’re faced with the immediacy of the change. You might be aware of the difficulties of the venture. Unless of course you’re a great optimist! But even the optimist might face the same potential challenges. What can occur is that time or times when it all seems a bit much. It might be that the challenges are daunting or that you’ve hit some obstacles. The hard bit can be to keep going, to hold to your faith.

No wonder people call it “blind faith”. It’s like you stick with it regardless. If you’re more optimistic of course you might not let yourself get downhearted and keep your mind focused on your goal and your plans. And this is very important. Managing the mind, not letting it get stuck in negativity, is a big theme of this blog. “Easier said than done”, many might think.

Understanding our “Dark Nights of the Soul” helps too. Once you’ve been there, more than once, and worked through them, they start to lose their hold over you. You know that there’s light beyond. You can have faith in that, in That.

Sometimes we can be in situations where we realise we do need to keep going. It’s our faith that’s letting us down. Sometimes we might be searching for the will and the motivation. This is when we dig deep into our resources.

This is why I think faith needs to be nurtured, looked after. So, when you are feeling good about things, faith is there too. You know that part of you well, and how it feels and how it sustains you. That’s why I recommend meditation, to go within and connect as much as possible with your inner self, your inner knowing, and know that that resource is there within you.

And, beyond faith, is knowing. Then “blind faith” makes perfect sense.

Share
Filed Under: Inner Self Tagged With: , ,
« Older Posts