What do you take for granted which you’d miss if it or they weren’t there? We live large chunks of our lives in a “knee-jerk” way. We get on with it, carry out our daily chores, converse with others, get from A to B, earn our daily bread, complete tasks, make connections, and more. All this makes up the necessities and desirables of life. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of all that are you consciously paying attention to? And what gets left out, that you value if you thought about it, and that you’re not noticing? What would you miss if it wasn’t there?
NLP teaches that the mind can only pay attention to 7 to 8 bits of information out of the millions of bits of data that comes to us. A lot is outside of our awareness, in the background, submerged by all that stuff going on that I’ve just referred to. More importantly though can be those things or people that we deem important but don’t habitually pay attention to.
It’s worth reflecting on those things that you take for granted, but you’d really notice if they were taken away, or you couldn’t access. This could be because it or they go, or you lose the capacity to access them yourself. It goes both ways. They go – or you do. At some level.
Examples are many: the view outside your bedroom window, being able to go up and downstairs quickly and easily, seeing a friendly for regular get-togethers, hearing beautiful music, reading a favourite book, a call from a son or daughter, your parent calling you to ask you how you are, dropping in to your favourite café, your annual or bi-annual holiday. People often say that it’s the really simple things that matter, rather than anything complex or big-sounding, a smile on someone’s face, the sound of a child’s laughter, how they sat in a chair, seeing the arrival of the spring blossom on the trees, the sound of the wind, a walk along a favourite path.
When people go
At a very deeply personal level, I’ve heard many people speak of those who have died whom they never completed with, never talked through an ongoing or old issue and resolved it, never addressed a family problem, never said how important they were to them or, perfectly simply, told them how much they loved them.
And how could it have been different if you’d have given it or them the attention they deserved? Really noticed it, taken it in, taken the satisfaction of the experience – like it was even your last.
Try this one. Each morning, if you’re going out, say goodbye to your loved one, or if you are on your own, to a pet or simply to your room or home. Or when you go to bed. When you come back, really greet them, like you’re really glad to see them. Honour their part in your life. Express gratitude for that part.
And as you do that, connect with your heart centre, feel the connection there, and feel the love.
Love knows no limit. But we shut it out through our constant busyness.
And then we only notice it when it’s gone, and we’re left with regrets.
What does it cost to be present with it instead?