There’s so much fear around at the moment and people are pessimistic

People say that there’s so much fear around at the moment and people are sad and pessimistic about the future. Events, issues and personal circumstances combine to give a negative outlook on life. In fact we can get completely absorbed in it. Is this how things are? Need they be? I’ve been struck how people are saying that everything seems really miserable at the moment. Maybe it’s the weather, repeated bouts of very cold spells when we’re weary with winter, even as spring is in the offing. For many, national and world events are troubling and there seems so much … Read more

Acceptance gives you true freedom

Acceptance of your situation can feel like the opposite of what you want but its power lies in it being a paradox We can encounter situations in life where our customary response is to dig our heels in, fight like mad for what we want and think we can by our efforts triumph in the end – and yet frustratingly get nowhere. Acceptance of the situation can feel like surrender, giving up, “giving in”, and somehow losing in another of life’s struggles. Nobody wants to be a “loser”: feel the shame of that! Yet true acceptance is not about this. … Read more

To let go of control is to allow life to happen as we intend

“Get back control” seems to be a mantra for our times, except that it can seem frustratingly difficult to achieve, especially where it’s in the gift of others. Yet the more we try to assert control, the more we don’t ultimately get what we really want. I often used to hear business people tell me how important it was for them to have control, whether it was over others, a system or process, or the direction in which things were headed. To lack control was to be at the mercy of others or the system. and to be tossed about … Read more

Are you disillusioned with life?

Has life not turned out as you thought it would? Has it dawned on you that things have not worked out as you had hoped? There can come a time when our hopes and dreams for life don’t materialise. We feel disappointed or disillusioned. Then we can get downhearted, depressed, cynical, cease to believe in what is possible, lose our faith, and give up on life. Life’s disillusionments This can occur at any stage. Perhaps you have had a dream of how you want your life to unfold. Maybe you have had career plans. Then you’ve had a desire for … Read more

Our thought becomes reality

Thought is highly creative. Our thought becomes reality, at some level. Where we place our thoughts is what can occur, at some level, until we think differently when as a result we get different outcomes. This can be a hard one to get, until we notice how on “good” days when we’re thinking positively lots of nice things happen, and when our mind darkens we get a stream of negative things happening. The key to this is often in the feeling. Where we feel good, we get good results, and vice versa. In Indian philosophy there’s an interesting concept, maya, … Read more

Thought is truly creative

We can be very careless with our thoughts, allowing them to run their course as if they have a life of their own. We don’t realise that thought is truly creative and determines our outcomes. Thus it is very important to attend to where we place our thought. Most of us probably are accustomed to letting our minds do their own thing. In fact people will express frustration at how their minds will as they say “run away” with them, and go where they don’t want them to go. Yet in letting this happen we don’t realise what we are … Read more

Do you feel driven by wanting and desire

How much are you driven by issues around wanting and desire? As notions like getting what you want or getting your needs met are very common, this might seem an odd question to ask. Surely, one might think, asking for what I want is a natural thing to do? We as humans have needs that need to be met, as it were. Yet desire, wanting, has huge issues attached to it that can lead us into all sorts of difficulties, ones that don’t serve us. So it’s worth reflecting on how much desire can get in the way and where … Read more

That we get what we pay attention to can be an unwelcome idea to get

That we get what we pay attention to can be an unwelcome idea to get. The thought that our thinking creates our reality brings us up against the awkward thought that by repeatedly thinking a certain way we are attracting to us all sorts of nasty things. It can leave us perplexed because we can then feel helpless because we keep doing this, keep thinking like this. It’s habitual. First it is important to recognise that our mind does this. Many of us will find our minds absorbed by what we call negative thinking at some stage. It is now … Read more

We can very easily miss the simple solutions in life that are naturally available to us

When things are not going so well we can very easily miss simple solutions in life that can make things better for us by using the  simple gifts naturally available to us, like breathing or laughing! It’s curious how the simple things in life are so hard to get, were it not for the barriers we’ve put in their way. That can sound almost inappropriate, if we don’t realise the power of these very available things. Breathing consciously, focusing your awareness on the action of breathing in and breathing out, is a mindfulness technique that brings you into the moment … Read more

Having expectations can be a set-up for not getting what you want

People are often mystified when I challenge them in coaching for having expectations. “What’s wrong with that?” they ask. I don’t mean it is wrong because that would be a judgement, but I do question its efficacy in certain situations. It usually requires some explanation, and invariably is related to the particular expectation the individual is making and the level of investment they have in the outcome. Here are a few general pointers. Expectations from a self development perspective  is a requirement of other people, life and the universe by you or I. We are expecting that something will or … Read more

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