How is it that what you truly want eludes you?

When you try to grab hold of it, it isn’t there.

Have you had that experience, really pushing to get hold of what you want and it keeps eluding your grasp?

No wonder people get cynical about life.

I was giving a talk last night to a group of interested people about how to connect with inner peace and one questioner expressed the dilemma she experienced of having seemingly spontaneous feelings of contentment and yet when she tried to hold on to them, they vanished.

Even worse, if we try to feel happy, all we get are what we are aware of that we are unhappy about.

I explained to the questioner that once we become aware of something like the feeling she described, that whole inner beauty of who we really are, what we yearn for, we disconnect from it. We separate ourselves from the experience. Our rational thinking selves kick in. It becomes subject and object. Wanting and needing, our ego stuff, gets in the way.

In a nutshell this is a big part of the dilemma of being human. Being in our ego selves, we think of ourselves as finite. After all, the ego is about survival and it fears it won’t survive. So it fights to hang on. Thus we separate ourselves from what we really want, at a soul level.

This is the contracted or limited self, disconnected from the divine in us.

By being more self-aware, at the fundamental level of awareness of Being, we can learn to let go and allow. We’re no longer driven by ego behaviour. It is often said that our biggest ego barrier is fear. Contemplating the void is scary big time. Yet when we find the courage let go and to step into the unknown, we become safe beyond measure.

So a major self-development challenge in learning to know and be who we really are, is to learn to let go and trust.