When you try to grab hold of it, it isn’t there. Have you had that experience, really pushing to get hold of what you truly want and it keeps eluding your grasp?
No wonder people get cynical about life. It doesn’t seem to deliver. The more we want, the more we don’t get what we want. What we get instead is wanting.
I was giving a talk last night to a group of interested people about how to connect with inner peace and one questioner expressed the dilemma she experienced of having seemingly spontaneous feelings of contentment and yet when she tried to hold on to them, they vanished.
Even worse, if we try to feel happy, all we get is what we are unhappy about. One is separate from the other.
I explained to the questioner that once we become aware of something like the feeling she described, that whole inner beauty of who we really are, what we yearn for, we disconnect from it. We separate ourselves from the experience. Our rational thinking selves kick in. It becomes subject and object. Here’s us and over there is what we want. Wanting and needing, our ego stuff, gets in the way.
In a nutshell this is a big part of the dilemma of being human. Being in our ego selves, we think of ourselves as finite. After all, the ego is about survival and it fears it won’t survive. So it fights to hang on. Thus we separate ourselves from what we really want, at a soul level.
This is the contracted or limited self, disconnected from the divine in us. The task is to reconnect with the One.
Let go and allow to Be
By being more self-aware, at the fundamental level of awareness of Being, we can learn to let go and allow things and ourselves to Be. This is the creative power of the universe. We’re no longer driven by ego behaviour. Thus many seekers use meditation, to be present and connect and be At One, instead of Alone.
It is often said that our biggest ego barrier is fear. Contemplating the void is scary big time. Yet when we find the courage to let go, embrace the fear, and step into the unknown, we become safe beyond measure. Feeling separate makes us feel afraid. Yet when we embrace fear, it dissolves. After all it is False Evidence Appearing Real, F.E.A.R., an illusion.
So a major self-development challenge in learning to know and be who we really are, is to learn to let go and trust, and through our practices and living a more wholistic life have more of the experience of Being at One.
What you truly want is really love, which is the experience of being at One. All the other things we desire are nothing compared with That.