Uncertainty undermines your sense of purpose

Uncertainty undermines your sense of purpose. You’re not sure what’s going to happen, what direction to take, or whether you are doing the right thing. You feel disempowered, no longer in control, at the mercy of other people or events, or prey to your mind and its fears. It might be that this is due to events. Brexit could have put a halt to plans. Your organisation might have put investment and hiring on hold. You’re not sure whether you’ll have to move countries or whether you’ll have a job. Business conditions might have turned unfavourable. Maybe your landlord wants … Read more

Have you lost confidence recently?

Confidence – that ability to believe in yourself and your capability – can be present one moment and gone the next. It can help us to sparkle, impress and be effective at what we aspire to do, and its absence can weaken, undermine and inhibit our potential and what we accomplish. When we’ve lost confidence in some area of our lives, we really know the difference because there’s a gap between what we really want and what is occurring right now. We can feel undermined, held back and limited in some way. And it’s likely we don’t know what to … Read more

Being in the public eye can be terrifying but it needn’t be so

Despite the jokes made about Michael Bay’s exit from his own presentation, some might be surprised and some amused but others more sympathetic about a very common fear that is likely to have driven Bay away, the fear of being “upfront”, being in the public eye, in front of other people, vulnerable and exposed, as when something wasn’t working in his presentation. I would add to it, for many of us, the fear of being upfront in itself. We’re thankfully becoming more candid about such things, as witnessed by a well-known book, And Death Came Third, by Lopata and Roper, … Read more

Self belief involves developing inner strength

It can be a prevalent theme in one’s life, fluctuating in one’s opinion of oneself between self doubt and positive self belief. At one moment we can be plagued by low self esteem and confidence, worrying about whether we’re “up to it” and “can make it”, what people must think of us, whether we’ve “got what it takes”, and whether we’re really OK. Then in another moment, for some reason, it shifts and we know we can do it, that we’re fine and OK, and it doesn’t matter what people think because we know we’re OK. Whole groups, organisations and … Read more

It’s hard overcoming low self esteem after a knock to confidence

It’s a big challenge for people at present in these difficult times, maintaining self belief, confidence and self esteem in the face of knock-backs and rejections. I’m thinking particularly of job seekers, but it can also apply to the self employed and to those with financial difficulty, illness or other challenges that life can seemingly throw at us. Overcoming low self esteem in the face of difficulty can feel like it’s too much, particularly if your self esteem wasn’t that great to begin with. It doesn’t help when you get a bad day. If you keep getting bad hair days, … Read more

Building self confidence can mean building self belief

Self belief is often at the core of work one might do for building self confidence. When things don’t seem to be working out, or when we doubt our capability, or in other ways don’t feel up to it, we can doubt ourselves in some way. It can go to the core. When we doubt ourselves, all sorts of things dissolve or don’t work. It’s an incredible self-destruct mechanism. And if others sense we don’t believe in ourselves, then they don’t believe in us. And so the process become self-reinforcing. If others aren’t believing in us, then we think we’re … Read more

There are two sides to self confidence

There are two sides to self confidence. There’s how we feel about ourselves and then there’s confidence in others, which is closely linked to trust. Confidence in others can take quite a lot to build up but can easily and rapidly be lost. It can be very easy to make self confidence “other-person related”. This is very evident curiously enough in the current furore over banking in the UK. Banking is built on confidence. That’s why you put your money in a bank. But because of the slump since 2008, confidence has been severely lacking. And it’s spread out to … Read more

How much are you who you say you are?

How much do you live your life in honesty and integrity? Are you who you say you are? It’s a very useful question, all the more relevant in the light of the recent scandals in public life. It’s a good time to check with ourselves. Do we practice for ourselves what we insist of others? We’ve had a week of devasting revelations about the UK banking industry, whose reputation must have reached a new nadir. Now we have news that the bankers were dishonestly fixing their interbank lending rate, the LIBOR, and artificially inflating their performance. The press have been … Read more

The search for how to be more confident

Having worked with very many people about how to make changes in their lives and work, I’m always fascinated when people make the shifts necessary to achieve what they want. One clear shift is when their search for how to be more confident in their chosen path finally pays off. Somehow all the work and effort comes together and what had seemed a barrier and a difficulty melts away in the face of the smooth flow of the effectiveness of what they are now doing. When we’re in the middle of our struggle in life, it can seem that all … Read more

Building self confidence that works for you

Like a lot of personal development, people start to turn things around in relation to self confidence firstly when they become aware that something isn’t working and it might in part be to do with them, and secondly when they develop the will to make changes. I have written at length on the process involved in turning your life around in my e-course, The Seven Proven Steps. Depending where you are at in the self confidence journey, the distance can be quite short and for others it needs working on over time and with persistence and determination. It’s one thing … Read more