Use mindfulness to drop negative feelings

It might seem the holy grail to many of us, the ability to drop negative feelings at will. Believe it or not but it can be done, although for many of us too it can be after some effort, and not always healthily. Mindfulness offers a very healthy alternative and the benefit comes with knowledge and practice. Do you find that negative feelings can hang around for ages, like you’re hooked on them? We can struggle to let go of anger, upset or sadness. They can pollute our life and interrupt our enjoyment. They can affect the choices we make … Read more

Feeling empathy needs not to cloud your judgement

In the emotional stakes it is good to see empathy now playing a big part and yet there are cautionary points to be made. Just because you empathise with someone doesn’t mean you do what they want, but it can play a powerful part in building bonds and connections and in influence. In the last US Presidential election Obama was able to make great play of his opponent’s perceived lack of empathy. For example he was able to portray Romney as uncaring with regard to the alleged 47% of the population who he said was government-dependent. Thus whether you are … Read more

Where desire, need and wanting can cost us unless we let go

If you watch a small child who hasn’t got what he or she wanted, it’s very likely their face will pucker up, there will be a pause, a deep gasp for air and then out will come a traumatised scream. It’s not the scream of one physically hurt. It’s more likely the rage of disappointed expectations. We got to experience and express it early on, and were well-practised at it, until we learned more subtle and skillful ways to get our own way. Disappointed expectations can often be expressed as rage. The pain that underlies it, the depth of the … Read more

Being aware of limiting thoughts and feelings

If you study a lot of the material around the Law of Attraction, you’ll probably see lots of injunctions to monitor your thoughts and to remember to “think positive” since your thoughts, and the accompanying feelings, are likely to affect your results big time. You might find that you are encouraged to switch your thoughts out of negative ones and into positive ones. What perhaps isn’t always so clear perhaps is what you do if you are stuck in some familiar and very strong “negative” feeling cycle and shifting that isn’t so easy. Some no doubt will be compounding their … Read more

Taking responsibility for how you think, feel and act

In an earlier posting this week I referred to the need to take ownership for our own part in things not working out. This can be a difficult shift to make but it is so often a crucial one. And we need to keep doing it. The understanding of personal responsibility or accountability is frequently stated by many people, but it isn’t one that is easily practised. So often it goes against our experience, based on our current paradigm of perception. We think, based on past experience that things often happen “to us”, that they are the result of actions … Read more

Stepping through fear to know who you really are

When I was giving a talk recently, one person asked me about how one can be aware and let go, since whenever she tried that, what she got was a sense of panic. It seemed like it was therefore very hard for her to let go. It is a stock answer to one who is caught up in their stuff, “Just let go.” And it can sound very simplistic, although simplicity is contained in the practice. There’s a massive amount of awareness, understanding and practice behind those simple-sounding words. It very much depends on the context. Panic, anxiety and fear … Read more

Releasing yourself from being stuck in negativity

We’re probably very used to seeing things in black and white terms. Some things are good and others bad. We think the good thoughts and feelings will lead us to good results and those that are bad won’t. While this is a generally useful approach, which experience of course shows us works, it can miss an important point. One very hard-to-get concept of awareness work is that everything is Consciousness, both our positive and our negative thoughts and feelings. “Wherever the mind goes, whether turned inward or towards the outside world, everywhere there is the divine. Since the divine is … Read more

Addiction to fear

How much do you somehow find sad stories or disaster scenarios uncomfortably absorbing? I was listening to a sad story of a woman finding her property was worthless in the property crash, owing a huge amount to the banks, and being burdened with debt and little prospect of repaying it. This is probably very familiar to many people at the moment. She told how she would wake up in the early hours of the morning and lie awake, unable to sleep, and consumed by fear. Her fear was of losing everything and becoming homeless, out in the cold, alone, a … Read more

In praise of self awareness

There’s an old expression that says that if you carry on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll continue to get what you’ve always got. Another one is, if you don’t change direction you’ll end up where you’re headed! The message seems to be, get what’s going on and make a change. You take charge of the situation and make a shift. Fine, provided you get it. The ability to change direction in some area of your life depends in large part on your ability to become aware of what is happening, and to see your part in it. This is … Read more

Positive thinking and positive emotions

In all the stuff out there about having a positive approach to life, the focus seems to be on what one thinks, as for example in positive thinking. Now positive thinking has great value. However, I don’t seem to hear quite so much about what one feels. Seen another way, one’s feelings are a window into the soul. “Think positive”, people seem to say, which has an echo for me of what my parents used to say to me: “now pull yourself together!” As a child, I learned to suppress my feelings and to put on a big smile, especially … Read more