People need to feel more connected to you

Do you find yourself talking about a matter perhaps quite close to you and somehow people don’t seem to quite understand? You might for example be talking and there’s a non-reaction in your audience, like there’s no energy in the room, and people looked switched off, and perhaps bored and distracted. It’s likely that they’re disengaged. So how do you get them so they’re more connected to you and what you’re saying? Today people need to get from you how it really is. Which sounds good, except that often you don’t know how to convey it, at least not in … Read more

Belief in yourself is often the key to what you really want from life

As a coach I get a lot from watching talent shows – well at least one or two of them! – and see what it takes for participants to learn and grow. Watching the Voice recently (wasn’t Leah great!)  I’ve noticed how much a common theme has been about belief in yourself . It struck me because I so often encounter this area in coaching people. It is often core to their success in pushing past their barriers and getting the results they want. It’s so palpable, the uncertainty in their eyes, their body language and in what they say … Read more

To value yourself gives you your well-spring for action

As any who has battled with self esteem will tell you, a powerful impulse for action comes from a sense of inner knowing of your self-worth, when you value yourself. We’ll use different words for it and will often refer to things like self belief, valuing ourselves, knowing we are OK, that we’re worth it. We can often limit our actions, and the strategies we choose, and even the insights we come up with on which we make plans, by how we’re feeling inside about us ourselves. It’s like, what’s the flavour of the moment today? If I’m not feeling … Read more

Where narcissism and unrealistic self awareness can lead to problems

It’s a much commented-upon trend, the growth of narcissism in today’s western society, part of what people call the “me first” culture.It received yet more treatment the other day in this article on this link. Narcissism is associated with conceit, vanity, selfishness and egotism. Just to read those words doesn’t seem to be good. Yet the real narcissist would not even get that far, because it implies something negative about themselves that they just don’t want to know. Narcissism is also about the false self, something one convinces oneself one is but which in fact hides a lot of hidden … Read more

Self confidence in the workplace – how to change what you can’t change

Self confidence in the workplace – a guest post by Ryan Rivera Working in a toxic environment can cause a considerable amount of stress. When your coworkers or supervisors are unsupportive, it can hurt your self confidence in the workplace, and it make it harder and harder to become a satisfied person not just in your work life, but in your home life as well. Going into work every day can feel like abuse, and over time, your own ability to cope with that abuse will start to fail. In the past, it would be recommended that you leave the … Read more

Building self confidence provides resources in the face of adversity

Self confidence in the face of adversity is an admirable trait many of us would probably like to have and not many probably possess. How often do you find something difficult happens and you are consumed by anxiety, self doubt, anger or upset? Do you not wish you had that inner strength that will carry you through, or at least worry that if something unpleasant happens you won’t be able to cope? Yet in history when certain nations have been beset by adversity, a leader has emerged to carry them through, one who held an aura of confidence that inspired … Read more

In building self confidence in what you’re doing plans give reassurance

In building self confidence in you and your project it helps to have a plan. Now that might sound like stating the blindingly obvious to some of us, except that it can be surprising how often I find people have an inspiring idea but have not thought it through. Thus there’s no structure and process to follow when for example things get difficult. Issues and challenges haven’t been identified and there’s a lack of options about how to resolve them and stay on track. What they are proposing to do lacks a grounding in action. But until they’ve got that … Read more

How to have self confidence when you don’t know where you are going

Bit difficult, not knowing where you’re going, or what you are about, and still have confidence in your endeavours! It’s a bit of a “chicken-and-egg” question, which comes first? Yet the question of how to have self confidence when things aren’t clear offers important opportunities for insight into your creative potential. When starting out on a new project, whatever that is, it’s well known that it helps to get clear what your vision and purpose is. Your vision would be some description of the end result and what it will feel and look like. The vision needs to match your … Read more

Building self confidence in our endeavours through inspiration

Stuck in the doldrums of the recession we can feel short on inspiration and doubt our capability for moving forward and improving our situation. Frustrated in building self confidence, we search frantically around for the bright idea and frustation shuts down our creativity. It becomes a vicious circle, we need an idea and the more we are driven by need the less we can access the ideas, or so it seems. This is the function of fear, as it cuts us off from Source, and our ego has got us. Then we’re plagued by self doubt and lack of self … Read more

Building self confidence can mean starting with inner quiet

It can seem an odd place to start in building self confidence in yourself and in a project by first building inner quiet. Yet if you need to re-focus, re-build, get something new going in your life and work, you may need to calm self doubt and lack of self belief and develop stillness of mind so that you have a surer base from which to grow what you intend. You may not be clear what it is that you intend and you may need to get your mind clear in order to allow creativity to do its work. In … Read more