To not trust others shuts us off to ourselves too

To trust others is a delicate boundary in human relationships and not trusting is a potential source of self-limitation. Let’s look at where we often don’t trust. It is commonly stated that trust in various kinds of public figures and professions is at a low ebb. A range of scandals, exposes and crises in the last few years has lowered many in public esteem, including in the UK politicians (the expenses scandal), bankers and financial services (the 2008 crash), and journalists (the hacking scandal). Some go on to say that trust in general is weak, although in hard times that … Read more

If we’re open to the emergence of the next possibility of who we are

Today is a beautiful day. Pale blue sky, daffodils appearing, snow drops en masse, people walking about in the afternoon slightly warm sun. A true hint of spring and our first warmer weather after a long, cold winter. It can feel like it’s an emergence out of hibernation, a new freedom in the air, and birds singing everywhere. There’s a sense of no going back: it’s finally arrived and is happening and whatever may seem to be occurring henceforth, we know that it is not nowhere but now here. A bit like life perhaps. It can seem like the status … Read more

What keeps you going despite the odds

“It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away“.* What keeps you going? You might have all sorts of clever stuff, and make all sorts of efforts to look convincing to others, but what really lights you up and is your source of passion? What is your “rock of ages” that truly keeps you going and believing in yourself and putting your self out there or simply carrying on in your everyday world when the chips are down and nothing seems … Read more

We need to trust in order to access more of our potential

It’s a big theme of the moment, the decline in trust. The more fear-based we get, not surprisingly the less we trust. We can see this variously in attitudes towards certain professions, like politicians, journalists, bankers and now even our health service. Also it shows up in people’s personal lives. In the UK parents are apparently particularly restrictive as to letting their children out, and one report even described children being like virtual prisoners, for fear of what might happen to them. This is tricky since children need to take risks in order to learn and idscover more of their … Read more

Are our values at odds with those around us?

It can often seem as though our own values are out of step with those around us. This could include a feeling that in the place where we work the senior managers don’t seem to think the same way, or the culture there isn’t what we ourselves might value. Then the community in which we live might not live quite according to our own ways. Or that the overall culture in which we live is somehow out of step with our own. I read in the news today for example of how a Muslim family felt compelled to move out … Read more

Hope faith and trust in possibility feels limited at present

After the euphoria of the Olympics people in the UK seem to be returning to the doom-and-gloom of diminished expectations and lowered hopes, if barometers of consumer expectations such as indices of confidence are to go by. Intially, after the 2008-9 slump people carried on spending to a degree in the hope of a recovery but 4 years on and it seems people are becoming resigned to things staying the same. So what might this be telling us of our levels of hope faith and trust in possibility, and how much does this economic climate translate into how we think … Read more

There are two sides to self confidence

There are two sides to self confidence. There’s how we feel about ourselves and then there’s confidence in others, which is closely linked to trust. Confidence in others can take quite a lot to build up but can easily and rapidly be lost. It can be very easy to make self confidence “other-person related”. This is very evident curiously enough in the current furore over banking in the UK. Banking is built on confidence. That’s why you put your money in a bank. But because of the slump since 2008, confidence has been severely lacking. And it’s spread out to … Read more

How much are you who you say you are?

How much do you live your life in honesty and integrity? Are you who you say you are? It’s a very useful question, all the more relevant in the light of the recent scandals in public life. It’s a good time to check with ourselves. Do we practice for ourselves what we insist of others? We’ve had a week of devasting revelations about the UK banking industry, whose reputation must have reached a new nadir. Now we have news that the bankers were dishonestly fixing their interbank lending rate, the LIBOR, and artificially inflating their performance. The press have been … Read more

Self confidence can be elusive

Self confidence can be an elusive quality, one moment you’ve got it, the next you’ve lost it. I’ve often noticed how people can seem very uncertain about doing something and then suddenly the mists have cleared, they see clearly what they need to do and how to do it, feel strong inside themselves and away they go. By contrast someone who has for example a very successful career but then loses their job and find that in their efforts to get back into work have lost their self confidence. Another example is where a very successful woman takes a career … Read more

It feels like nothing is going on and nobody is there

When nothing seems to be going on, and you need something to be happening, it can get very scary. “Is everything OK?” you might wonder. Let’s imagine that you are needing some work, a job offer, or an order or a contract, and you’ve put a lot of effort into marketing and networking, and making contacts, and at the moment nothing’s happening. There are no emails, no calls, no texts. Silence. It can be scary. This is when our faith can really get tested. What if nothing is going on? What if nobody is interested? What if nobody is going … Read more