Desire and want can be barriers to happiness

Desire and want are riven through so much of our thought, speech and action. Listen to someone speak and you will hear quite quickly an expression of need, sometimes negatively and sometimes positively. It’s ingrained in our consciousness but perhaps unsurprisingly it also flags up an aspect of our way of being that doesn’t necessarily always serve us. In fact they can make us miserable. In coaching, for example, it is often a very effective question to ask, “What do you want?” It can invite someone who is feeling unclear to explore their desires and can bring out what is … Read more

Need and want can be very destructive ego strategies

One of the most powerful ego manifestations must be that of need and want, especially when fuelled by a sense of lack. After all it is a thought that fuels much of our economics and politics at the macro level but also at the micro level for some the need to meet every-day needs in order to survive and for others the seemingly insatiable hunger for more of the material trappings of life. It is so pervasive that we don’t think of questioning it, but instead assume it to be part of who we are. Hence it is an ego … Read more

Where the desire for more money might not serve us

How much money you have, whether you have enough money, whether you are secure, whether you have “financial freedom” are all questions that buzz around so many people’s minds. “It’s what money can get me,” people say. While many of us might think that money can’t buy happiness, there’s lots of others that think it comes as a result, backed up by a lot of surveys that show that the wealthier tend to be happier. An odd mix of contradictions! To a yogi, the pursuit of more money is an aspect of desire, an ego characteristic where we are never … Read more

The gap between what we have and what we want

Not for nothing do spiritual writers point out the pitfalls of wanting. Our society is arguably riven by it and it is perhaps one of the most seductive of thoughts that undermine our sense of well-being. You might be feeling good, let’s say, and then for some reason your mind goes to what is missing and then there’s that pang of anxiety, or of resentment, upset or frustration and away you might go on some trip about the gap between how things seem to be now and how you’d like them to be. Then we focus in on that gap. … Read more

You already have what you want

You might say our whole society is built around the satisfaction of need, in other words the fulfilment of desire, and the failure to achieve it. No wonder there’s so much misery, almost built in to the human condition. At a basic level we need to feed, clothe and house ourselvles. According to Maslow, our needs can be seen as a hierarchy . Unless the lower order needs such as survival and safety are met, the others won’t be achieved. So, according to this model, we must first cope with our survival needs before things like love, esteem and “self-actualisation” … Read more