We get unhealthily attached to wanting

I posted recently that we can get unhealthily attached to desire, especially where we feel something is lacking or missing or that we expect something from another. One difficulty with being attached to desire and wanting is that there’s no room for being, for acceptance of what is. We’re not at peace. Our society is organised around desire. We want more, bigger, better. What we have isn’t enough. We want a new car, house, possessions, material goods, holidays and other things that for a short while fulfill our need, until we’re back on the hook with something else. In coaching, … Read more

Do you feel driven by wanting and desire

How much are you driven by issues around wanting and desire? As notions like getting what you want or getting your needs met are very common, this might seem an odd question to ask. Surely, one might think, asking for what I want is a natural thing to do? We as humans have needs that need to be met, as it were. Yet desire, wanting, has huge issues attached to it that can lead us into all sorts of difficulties, ones that don’t serve us. So it’s worth reflecting on how much desire can get in the way and where … Read more

How desire and wanting are inimical to inner peace

As you begin your week, you may be conscious of what you need to get done, what needs to be achieved, to meet your goals. What you will be doing is likely to be linked to something you want. Dealing with our wants may seem like an essential ingredient of living. However, for those who seek inner peace and contentment, to have more joy in their lives, this is also something that contradicts that search. Desire, wanting, is regarded in many traditions as inimical to achieving inner peace. It is a great interrupter to inner contentment. If you meditate, you … Read more

The gap between what we have and what we want

Not for nothing do spiritual writers point out the pitfalls of wanting. Our society is arguably riven by it and it is perhaps one of the most seductive of thoughts that undermine our sense of well-being. You might be feeling good, let’s say, and then for some reason your mind goes to what is missing and then there’s that pang of anxiety, or of resentment, upset or frustration and away you might go on some trip about the gap between how things seem to be now and how you’d like them to be. Then we focus in on that gap. … Read more

Not getting what you want

Not getting what we want is a prevailing theme in human experience, but many must be feeling they are not getting it big time at present. If you follow the economic news, there’s some interesting related themes that keep standing out. Apparently median incomes in certain Western countries have been stagnating for decades, while at the top incomes have been galloping away, as in the UK and US. So we have increased inequality, which is a paradox in a society that speaks of fairness. A lot of the pre-recession growth was fuelled by increasing household debt financed by low interest … Read more

In praise of frustration

Frustration with life not being perfect can be a function of desire not being fulfilled. Desire is about wanting. It’s worth checking it out: how much of life not working for you (or me) at the moment is about not getting what you want? It can be a treadmill of an ego trip. It can go on and on, highly addictive. It can drive one’s life, become obsessive. No wonder eastern philosophy gives great emphasis to letting go of desire. A lot of this can be about the sense of unfulfilled needs, of which usually at the top come love … Read more