Time to have those change conversations

It’s holiday season and many of us are now headed to nice places on long-anticipated breaks. Despite the desire to de-stress and get some leisure and family time it can often also be time to think and reflect on where you’re going in life too. We might seemingly need to leave work well behind us, and yet for those for whom work hasn’t been so good recently, or that simply the change signals are cropping up, we might have some questions to ponder on. That long-needed break can be when we can just allow our minds to wonder more creatively over what might be possible. This can also apply in other areas of our life too, where we might need to have those long-postponed change conversations with our partner, or think about making some change in our personal life in general and have our own change conversations with ourselves too!

In my line of work I often get to hear about how people are mulling over making changes in their lives. This process comes around every few years, as we grow older, as life changes come along, as people have children (or decide they want them), or as children leave, as we form new relationships, or split up, or as we decide we want to live somewhere else, or a move is long overdue, or as change occurs in work forcing us to re-evaluate where we’re going and what we want. These and other change points are part of the process of life, and sometimes we welcome them and sometimes we don’t. Yet we do need to face and deal with them, before life has a way of thrusting them into our face and saying, “Now deal with that one”.

I was hearing recently how one couple were planning both to get married and to make a move, in one person’s case back to where she was born and grew up, where her friends were, and where she would now like to have children. Her partner was coming out of a major career and was thinking of taking a uni degree course. Both would be leaving jobs that they had been in a while. It was a lot of change, and it looked like it could be both exciting for them but also challenging for them both too. Would they both get what they really wanted and how would their relationship stand up to the test?

So it’s when we get breaks from the usual routine that we might find ourselves thinking about and discussing our needs and our aspirations and how this fits with other people and commitments. I think that with the recession many people are finding this process is long overdue, as people have in many cases had to put plans on hold. Thus the frustrations can build up. Sometimes too people don’t like to talk about change and can avoid it for the difficult emotions it can bring up. Yet, as I said, if we aren’t open and address these issues, they can come back to bite us. So despite all that stuff about getting away from it all, having a good review while on holiday can be very healthy. Change needs to be faced head on. Put yourself at the head of change and it follows and supports you.

I help people work through change issues that are coming up in their lives. Click here.

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